The Regenerate Me

But is HE really enough??? August 31, 2012

But He said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Cor 12:9

Recently, something has become painfully clear to me. Something that quite frankly, I’ve been unwilling to see….my own blind spot if you will, in my walk with the Lord. I’ve proclaimed for years now, that I trust God. Of course I do, I am His child. I cling to His Word. I believe HE is Sovereign. So yes, of course I trust Him…..don’t I? Man, I wish it was that simple sometimes……and yet, I know (now more than ever), that it CAN”T be this simple. For if it was this easy, it would only be a short matter of time before every one of us would STOP seeing our desperate need for Him.

So, if I feel so confident in my trust for and in Him, then I must be a great example, and should be able to share with all of you what this said trust looks like, eh? Hmm, now I’m not feeling so confident…..not feeling so sure about my trust. The thing is, as I reflect over the years of my walk with the Lord, and how I’ve dealt with trials and burdens, well-I’m not so sure I totally like what I see. I see myself picking up the phone…..A LOT. I see me turning my brain OFF with the tv or a movie. I see me running to the kitchen to find something to eat, scurrying around the house in a mad effort to see instant results in something….dust, clean bathrooms, vacuum (but still no peace)…..almost NEVER in my walk with the Lord, have I FIRST run to Him. I almost always get there, but never FIRST. This breaks my heart, and no doubt Christ’s too. What am I saying about what I believe with my actions?? I am saying that a friend is more trustworthy than GOD? That a movie will make me feel better somehow? That food will cure my weary heart? Oh my Heavenly Father….please forgive me!!!

“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.” Matthew 6:33

I’ve known this passage since I was a little girl…so why have I not allowed it to break my bones and pierce my heart? Because I have chosen not to trust that HE ALONE is able. HIS KINGDOM ALONE is all I have ever needed. Even as I write this, I find myself praying to GOD to help me overcome my disbelief. My feeble faith fails me, time and time again. But I want to believe more…..trust more…..strive less.

I thank GOD for precious members of the body of Christ. I am not saying that we aren’t suppose to be there for one another, and carry each other’s burdens. We are. But we all also MUST put Christ first, and in doing so, we can better see our sweet sisters and brothers needs to do the same. I thank my Lord for some of the best friends I will no doubt ever have (you know who you are, and I love you!). Through you all, and His Word, and my own prayer life, my sweet Savior is making it LOUD and CLEAR. It’s as close to an audible voice as it can get. “Come to Me. Rest in Me. Trust ME. I created you. I know you. I know every single thing you think, do, have done, and will do. I am the best Counselor. RUN. TO. ME.

“Evening, morning, and noon, I cry out in distress, and He hears my voice.” Ps 55:17

                                 “Come to me, all who labor and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28 

Oh Abba, You are always right here….always. The unending mercy You have shown me, as I have clumsily walked with You….many times letting Your hand go, and following my own will, my own selfish controlling ways. But YOU GOD, You never left me. You never leave me. You’ll never forsake me. Ever. How can I know that, and not RUN TO YOU as fast as I can? Oh my grieving heart! You are too good to me, to love me enough, to patiently teach me this. And forgive me Father, for I know You have taught me so many things, OVER AND OVER. Yes indeed, Your grace is sufficient. Of course it is. I am drenched in Your abundant grace, and feel the daily mercies lavishly overflowing onto my life.

Your blessings are never ending. You’ve given me a husband, (9 years ago today in fact), 3 beautiful children, a precious church family…..but most of all Lord, You have given me Your son, Jesus Christ. Forgive me for taking Him for granted. Forgive me for not trusting that You are perfectly able to give me a peace that passes all understanding. Help me to long for You. Help me to RUN to You alone. You are good. You are faithful. I am undeserving. I love you.

“Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge.” Psalm 62:8

God’s instruments October 17, 2011

If I could write everyday, I would. If somehow I could transpose my thoughts onto paper by just thinking them, I would have written a few books by now, no doubt. But alas, other priorities that God has entrusted me with must come first. My husband, children, and home. And I am deeply grateful for my calling….but just for a few minutes today, my writing will take 1st place, as I desire to piece together what only God has orchestrated, and continues to….

Just the other day I was thinking about the word instrument, in how we relate it to being used by God. Just like we consider what it means to be a “part of the body” of Christ, so it is with being a used instrument by Him. You see, when something is broken, in need of repair, or just in need of different parts to perform correctly, we use an instrument of some sort to fix that said issue. Doctor’s use many instruments when performng simple routine procedures, all the way up to a very intricate detailed surgery. Mechanics are no different. They use multiple instruments and tools to repair vehicles. The list can go on and on. You get the idea. When I think about the parallel example of a doctor and his instrument, to God and us…it really blows my mind. Though the doctor is skilled and full of knowledge in a very complicated surgery, without the proper surgical tools, he is unable to perform the task. Of course any parallel that we have with the Lord will come up short, not being the exact image, because God is perfect, and obviously does not “need” us to perform or complete His tasks. However, we are His, created by Him, created for Him, and can and will be used by Him for His glory. This has certainly been the case in all my Christian life over the last nearly 6 years. To be specific in this present case, I have seen the hand of God absolutely move within and through His instruments, to orchestrate something encouraging, something that gives me hope, something that is worthy to give Him praise!

Four years ago today, I was involved in a car accident. It was my 2nd accident in 2 weeks, and I was 7 months pregnant. That began what has become one of the greatest longsuffering trials in my life. Though I know it may not be over any time soon, today I must praise my Lord, for all the work He has done in me, through me, and for me. I am closer to Him, relying on His strength, not my own, in ways that I may not be if it weren’t for my chronic daily back pain. God has even used my pain to train my children at a young age what compassion and carrying one another’s burdens in prayer looks like. My husband also suffers from chronic daily pain (headache disorder), so we are more able to understand one another, give compassion and lots of grace, and lift one another up in prayer too. God has brought kind people into my life within the medical field. A Christian chiropractor who has become a friend and a prayer warrior on my behalf. A massage therapist who loves Jesus with all of her heart, and has devoted much time over the years to treat me, pray over me, and even care for my children. Even the doctors that God has brought into (and out of) my life that weren’t as kind or able to help–God prepared my heart beforehand for them too. I listened to an awesome sermon on Job several years back, the night before I was to meet with a neurosurgeon about possible back surgery. Once the apt. came, my heart was softened with proper perspective, and the doctor’s arrogant bedside manner couldn’t even touch my joy that day. I look at all of these people as God’s instruments really. Some have been obvious encouragers, and others have still had a greater purpose. A purpose to remind me that He is really the only one that will not fail me. He is really the only one I can fully rely and depend on. Because sin entered this world, our bodies wasting away and getting sick is just one of the consequences. I see more clearly because of this trial, that my reward is still awaiting me at HOME; heaven. I honestly understand why we (believers) are called “aliens to this world”. I can tell I don’t belong here, but my citizenship is in heaven with my eternal Heavenly Father. But, for as long as He sees fit for us to be here, He uses us as His instruments…and I am very grateful for that.

Just over the last couple of weeks, I have gone through another “valley” of this trial. A new MRI with reports of degenerative disc disease and severe inflammation in my low backbone, lots of stressful phone calls to get medical info where it needed to be, in hopes of seeing a new neuro surgeon, and then a call of rejection by that said doc’s office. My heart has felt a bit broken, but my gracious Abba has brought me much comfort today. After only 2 days since the declined consult call, I talked to a different doctor’s office, and they wanted to see me right away. Wow. Trying not to get my hopes up, I said a prayer of praise and thanksgiving, and asked for proctection over my heart. Today I met this doctor. Right before he walked in, I felt the tears begin to build up and out of my eyes, streaming down onto my cheeks. I wiped them away and whispered softly, “Not my will Father, but Yours….Your grace IS sufficient for me.” After about a 25 minute consult with this kind man, I walked away with hope. Something I have not felt (for this particular situation), in years. We talked about surgery, procedures, medications, etc. He wants to help me, and does not want to give up. Praise God!!!!! I know this may be a slow process, producing the need to perservere. So I will continue to cling to Romans 5:3-5. I had my sister paint a canvas of it that sits beautifully over our bed. It’s really both me and John’s life verse. What a solid truth to meditate on. He will never disappoint us!

So, to all who has been His instrument on my behalf….thank you!!!!! I love each and every one of you, some I realize I do not even know or have not met. Your prayers, calls, meals, kindness, support, and love for me and my whole family are deeply humbling, and I am forever grateful. Please continue to pray for John and I, for clarity and wisdom. We have some big decisions to make, regarding back surgery, and the BIG recovery involved.

Life is hard, but God is good, and worthy to be praised!

In His Hands,
Lauren

Remembering what only HE can do!! December 23, 2010

It’s just a couple days until Christmas. It’s always right around this time that I reflect on what the Lord did to me and for me, 5 years ago. I went back and read an old post I wrote back in 2008. Can’t really say I could add more to it, so I just thought I would repost it for today. I pray today whomever reads this, that the Light of the World has been made known in your life. And if you do not know Him, that is, Jesus Christ Lord and Savior…that today would be the day that you would see your sin for what it is, your need for a Savior-your eternal substitution, and that you would repent and ask Him to transform your life into something that reflects His image. Merry Christmas….celebrate what God did for the entire human race, in the most lowly of all circumstances…..a baby.

https://theregenerateme.wordpress.com/2008/12/

Wishy Washy People Part 2 November 23, 2010

Okay, I’m back to bring my point to fruition…as even I meditated on these thoughts. The timing of me writing this was impeccable. My pastor is expositing 1Cor. right now, and when I wrote Part 1, it was a Saturday night–the next morning at church I see the title to the sermon is “In and not Of, but Definitely In”. I was like, “WOW!!!” It completely correlated with what is on my heart, and what I had written the night before (of course, his was WAAAY more deep, theological, accurate, amazing, etc). But I am no pastor (praise the Lord)–rather just a fool for Christ, sharing what He has laid on my heart. So, with that-let’s get on with it:

The whole point to this post is about self-examination. It is for (all of us) to consider how we are living our lives, and for WHOM. Jesus said we can’t serve 2 masters (Matt 6:24)so stop putting one foot in your faith and one foot in the world. It doesn’t work…better yet, it’s a sin! If you say you are for Him, then BE FOR HIM! I have grown to be incredibly passionate about this…maybe because of the radical transformation God caused in my life…maybe because I live in the South, where almost everybody is a “christian”, but very few actually have fruit-producing radical life transforming lives. Probably both. And my passion leaves me with this thought. I…AM…FED…UP. Fed up with the hypocrisy, the heretics, the blasphemy, and the “christian posers” putting a bad name on behalf of the name of Jesus Christ our Lord.

Unfortunately, I know MANY people like this. They claim the faith, but they are living for themselves. It’s something like this: Monday-Saturday–work, play, appointments, dinners, work, play harder, (maybe a Wed night church thingy is slipped in as a check off  list), work, play even harder…fall over, sleep it off…wait for Sunday morning, get up and dress up…have some sort of religious service where God is mentioned, but it’s more of a social club than anything…go out for lunch (and maybe drinks), go back home and sleep off all the hard playing from the week…and then do it all again. That, my friends, is WISHY WASHY! Nothing about this said lifestyle reflects the finished work of Christ. Nothing shows a comparison to “suffering for Christ’s sake”. Everything shows the world hypocrisy though. The world looks at that life and sees nothing different from its own, and is left thinking, “then why would I be interested in their God?” How completely irresponsible….

Truth is, this said life most likely is in fact NOT a truly transformed one. It is someone who has made God in an image that is easier for them to tolerate and accept, therefore making it no big deal to claim Christianity as their faith-all the while living for the world and their own pleasures. I could go on and on about this subject…but you get the point. So where are you in all of this? It’s time for some self-examination…..

Who do you think God is? Let me tell you the truth-He is who He says He is…which can ONLY be known in His Scriptures. He is SO MUCH more than LOVE. He detests sin, and will not allow it to enter into His kingdom..heaven. And being wishy washy like this IS SIN! You can’t create a God that makes you feel good….that is NOT the Christian faith, and believing that is damning. Obviously there is a lot more to say about Him, but this is a start and if you wanted to know Him more, pick up the bible and start reading. Romans is an excellent place to start. 1John is also a great book to read if you are unsure where you may stand with God (ie, if you are truly saved).

I literally could write 5 pages on this everyday for the rest of my life…that’s how passionate I am about these kind of people. The Gospel of Jesus Christ must be protected! When wishy washy people are out there defacing the name of Christ, the world is left wondering…even laughing at the Christian faith. And I should know. I was the chief leader to these said people. Claiming the faith as my own, yet living the life I gave for example in earlier text. By God’s grace, He plucked me out of “the world”, showed me that I now belonged to Him and gave me new desires-ones that resulted in me not being “of” the world, and He mercifully commanded me to stay “in” this world, just not be “of”…..but definitley “in”.

So where do you stand with God? Are you wishy washy in your faith? Do you put Christ in your back pocket, and then go about living your life for yourself? Are you excusing your sin, finding ways to justify your lifestyle based on popular trends? Truly, truly, I tell you…repent and live! The time is at hand….it is now….stop being wishy washy and join me in being a fool for Christ!

~Lauren

Wishy Washy People Part 1 November 14, 2010

Are you wishy washy in your faith in Christ? Do you even know what that means? Here are some questions to ponder that may reveal where you stand:

Is Jesus someone you think about on a regular basis? If not, why-and if so, in what way do you think about Him?

Do you put  faith in your back pocket? (meaning, do you live your life the way you want, then reach in your back pocket for your Sunday morning/Wednesday night faith?)

Do you claim “Christianity” as your religion, but have no real, intimate, one on one relationship with Jesus Christ?

Do you enjoy talking about the Lord and His Word, and hold a high value in having friends that do the same?

How do you react when someone shares Scripture with you, either for encouragement, exhortation, or possibly rebuke? Do you even know what these things mean?

Lastly, do you truly understand what you say you believe? (meaning, do you understand the depth of the Christian faith, and not just “Jesus loves me, this I know…”)

Depending on how you answered these questions will tell you much about where you stand with God. Maybe you started reading, then got an idea of where this was going and stopped(which means you probably didn’t get this far). Maybe you are in denial, and think what you have is just fine, and it’s working for you, so why re-evaluate? In any case, we ALL need to read this, and ALL need to investigate our hearts. If there is ever a time that any one of us thinks things are dandy witihin us, repentance is sure to follow. If you did stumble upon this blog post, take some time to meditate on these questions, and come back soon for Part 2 of Wishy Washy People.

~Lauren

Her Legacy lives on… May 26, 2010

Today, May 26th 2010, would’ve been my birthmom’s 56th birthday. I miss her so much, though during the years she was living as my mom, I was very young and don’t have lots of memories to hang on to. She passed away when I was 6. Only through some scattered stories and pictures over the years, have I gotten to know little bits of who she was. I have always wished that I knew her better and remembered her more.

It’s been over 4 years now since I’ve been saved, and really ever since then, my mom’s life/death has laid heavily on my heart. At least 3 years ago I began praying for clarity and opportunity to know more about who she was. I never knew exactly how that might all work out, but I kept on praying. Well, I am so delighted to give thanks and praise to my faithful Lord, who hears my prayers. Over the last couple of years, I have found her! Through stories, pictures, audio tracks of her speaking,  and her own writings, I have come into the knowledge of who Linda Jane Granger really was, and Who she belongs to. She was (and is) my sister in Christ! The Lord has blessed me with confirmation after confirmation that she was indeed saved by Grace–something I never knew for certain, and never would’ve truly been able to appreciate until I was in the faith. I believe the Lord knew all of that, and has been so merciful to lift the veil for me in so many ways. One of the gifts from God through all of this just came to me at Christmas (of 2009). My dad gave my sisters and I some cd’s that he put together. One of them was the audio of their wedding. Listening to the way my mom spoke of Jesus immediately brought joy to my heart and tears to my eyes. There is just no doubt how deeply she loved Him. Her desire to be a godly, submissive wife was obvious. It was all so precious…truly a gift directly from the Lord, and another answer to prayer for confirmation of her saving faith. I can now rejoice over her life and over her death, because I know I will see her again. It’s not important to me to have all the “why’s” of her life/death answered anymore. It’s not important to me to understand why she might have done certain “things” wrong. You know why? Because, “no one is good, not even one” and “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” Rom 3:10, 23. So of course she was a sinner, just like you and me. But she was saved by Grace, and is eternally in her state of glorification with her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

And her legacy lives on. Now being a mother myself, I know what it’s like to have that deep desire for your children to be saved. I am sure she prayed for our salvation, just like I do over my children’s heads each night. Though she never was living on earth to see salvation take place for me, the Lord was faithful to her prayers too. And now I can say (with confidence), that I am a lot like my mom, and to me, that is exciting and joyful. I am thankful for these little nuggets of knowledge the Lord has allowed me to know, and I praise God continually for saving her, and for saving me. Today, I celebrate a wonderful woman. A woman who may have worn many hats, some of which were: mother, wife, daughter, sister, chef, poet. But those hats simply cannot compare to her greatest “title” and greatest joy…she was a daughter to the King of Kings, a disciple and teller of the Good News, and an heir to His eternal kingdom. I love you mom, and celebrate your life on earth, and your new life in Christ. I can’t wait to see you again!