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Doctor’s Apt. and a Clear Message February 25, 2009

Posted by theregenerateme in 1.
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I shared this via email with friends and family that have been praying for me. I wanted it here too…to give another opportunity to bring glory to God. He is SO good!!!

My loving family and friends,

 

First, please forgive me for the mass email. I know there have been SO many of you praying for me throughout the last 16 months in regards to my back. Some of you may not know that I had an apt with a neurosurgeon today to discuss possible surgery. I would like to tell you all what happened, but to do so, I need to share this weekend’s happenings with you first.

 

Ever since early last week at the chiropractor’s office, I have been a bit melancholy. My doctor told me we were no longer going to continue decompression treatment. I had fulfilled my package deal of 20 sessions, and he has even allowed 6 more sessions post that to see if it would be effective. The treatment in completion was 45% effective, which is a praise. It’s not what I expected, nor the doctor’s had hoped, but a change nonetheless. My doctor referred me to see this neurosurgeon today, hoping he could be of some help….possibly neurosurgery of some kind. All last week, I (tried) not to get excited about the possibility of total and complete healing from surgery, but my friends, this wasn’t easy. The thought of having this chronic daily pain…GONE within 20 minutes post surgery?!!? Well, it was easy to indulge in that hope! But God wanted my perspective to be right. Saturday night, as I was folding laundry, I decided to listen to the session from the NCCT conference that I had missed to stay home with a sick child. John had gone and told me it was awesome and I needed to listen to it. So, I began to listen to the sermon titled, “Beholding the God of Sovereign Supremacy; Good, Evil, and Ministry” by Dr. Bruce Ware. http://media.churchandtheology.org/ It was all about the life of Job. I have never spent any time in this book, so I was unfamiliar with his life. For those of you who don’t know, Job endured unimaginable suffering, ultimately by the hand of God. It’s intense, it’s hard to comprehend, it’s humbling beyond anything I’ve yet read. A little over half way through the sermon, I began to weep; so much so, that I found myself on my knees, holding my hands over my face. Job endured more than I can begin to digest, and instead of complaining, instead of cursing His name or blaming Him…..he worshiped, giving thanks and praise. Wow. I began to think…have I done that, even once since all this adversity has come my way? The answer was clear even before the question was finished. No I have not. Though I have not cursed Him or blamed Him, I also have not thanked Him for this suffering and affliction, knowing He loves and cares for me, and this is for my good. It was a moment in my walk with Him that broke me and caused a deep desire to repent. The next morning (yesterday), John and I sat down in the sanctuary, excited to hear a guest speaker (Don Whitney) preach. The sermon titled, “If God is for us, who is against us”  (Romans 8:31), was on the screen. As Don began speaking, John and I looked at each other in awe of God. The sermon completely was like a part 2 from the sermon I had just listened to the night before. Don even was talking about Job, and all the suffering he endured. Is God for us if we are going through such tremendous suffering? YES HE IS!!! God made it so clear to me over the weekend that not only does He know the details of my life, but He cares for me, He loves me, He gives me His word for comfort and encouragement. Oh my, what a God I serve. He allowed this weekend’s teachings to equip me with a new song in my heart. A heart of worship, of utter trust, and of total peace.  (Proverbs 3:5) “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.”

 

So, as I walked in (and back out) of the doctor’s office today, I had His peace. I just had this feeling that the Lord prepared me so much this weekend for peace and trust, that I was hardly worried about the outcome (a completely different perspective from earlier in the week). After examining me, looking at my MRI images, and talking with me, the doctor said surgery is 100% not an option for me. He was (sort of) uncompassionate even, and lacked a bit in bed side manner. I saw God’s hand in that too. I had such the temptation to put my hope in a doctor, or a surgery. Then I get a no for surgery, and not the “nicest” doctor to deliver the news. My hope is in HIM! All this to say, I truly believe that the Lord prepared my heart over the weekend for this news today. If my perspective was still the same as last week, I’m sure that I would be in bed crying, disappointed, maybe even hopeless. This isn’t to say there isn’t a fraction of disappointment…I am still human. But His peace trumps it all! I walked out of there today feeling a joy that can only come from Him, because I know He allows all things for my good and His glory!

 
 

 

So, thank you ALL who have prayed. I praise Him for you all in my life, the encouragement, accountability, and deep friendship. I could’ve just shared “the news” with you all today, but I had to take this opportunity to glorify our amazing Lord for the work He is doing in my own heart. I want to strive for a faith like Job, falling on my face in humility and deep worship! God bless!

 

By His Grace Alone,

Lauren